LeMonte Anthony Knobelock, my nephew “Jake,” was named after my dad, LeMonte Jacobson. Dad was a career chef, and over the years he was nicknamed “Jake” in the kitchen. My sister Sally was dedicated to our dad, so when she named her son LeMonte, she nicknamed him Jake. Over the years, my nephew would ask others to call him LeMonte, but he remained Jake to us.
When Jake was born, I was living in Massachusetts with my first huband. It wasn’t until I left him and moved to where our family had converged in Sisseton, South Dakota that I really got to meet him. By that time he was around six and his sister Jessi was little. When Mom and Dad decided to sell the steak house they were running in South Dakota and move to Phoenix, I followed them down.
A few months later, Sally and the kids were living in an apartment in the same complex where I was staying with our parents. I ended up moving in with Sally, Jake, and Jessi. I stayed for a while, sharing the rent, the housework, and the childcare. One of my best memories of that short time is walking to the elementary school down the road where Jake was in first grade. I volunteered to listen to the kids in his class while they practiced reading. I didn’t have that much patience at that time, but I still had fun.
Another great memory of that time came to me yesterday. I know for a fact that Jake was leaning towards a musical lifestyle even then. Sally and I were rockers — we had MTV on all the time. Jake became fascinated by Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe. Jake would dress up in whatever he could to look like him, including white gloves. He looked very much the little rocker.
Life changed and we went separate ways for a bit, but eventually we all came together again in Texas. Jake lived with his mom and sister in Arizona and Texas. The two of them went to their dad’s in Missouri during the summers. Their mom was remarried, had another daughter, and then divorced again. When he was about 11, Jake decided he wanted to live with his dad full time and just visit his mom sometimes. At some point, his sister moved back too. Their dad remarried, and they gained a new step-sister.
As they came of age, both Jake and his sister moved away to forge their own lives in their own ways. When he was a teen, Jake came to live with me and my two little girls for a bit when I lived in Austin, Texas. I can remember him sleeping on the living room floor, working at a Jack-in-the-Box, and watching Beavis and Butthead in my living room. Even though — or maybe because — Beavis and Butthead were every boy I ever knew in high school, I wasn’t so sure I wanted my little girls to watch them, but that’s another story.
Much later, Jake came to stay with my family again when we lived in Apache Junction, Arizona. By then I had my son, and we were living in a small apartment in a fourplex. Jake met the mother of his two children while he was living with me.
Time has a way of becoming confused. I can remember events, but I find it harder to pinpoint the time they occurred. Jake’s sister had come to stay with us for a short time just after Jake moved out of my apartment. He was still in town with his girlfriend. After that, everything becomes a blur of life as a single mother, raising children, working, and going to school.
I know that over the years, Jake stayed with my sister Jane and her family at least twice — maybe more. One thing I know must be true about Jake. He had to know that he was loved. That he is loved.
At some point, my niece, Jake’s sister, moved to northern California. Jake and his girlfriend also moved out to Cali. Was it before or after she went there? I don’t remember, but that’s okay. My niece found her significant other in California, Jake’s little family grew from two to four, and then he was alone.
Jake had a good heart. I know he always loved his two kids, and tried to be there for them. I remember when the kids and their mom lost everything to a terrible wildfire in 2018, he did everything he could to help them find somewhere to stay and to get back on their feet, including starting a GoFundMe campaign.
Jake started making music well over twenty years ago. His first marketing that I know of was on MySpace and on the street corners of Tempe, Arizona. I think he slogged CDs out of his trunk in St. Louis, and probably Texas and California, too. His form of hardcore rap/hip hop is wild and angry and underground. He gave me a copy of his first CD, Lord Lemonsta All Hail. That first CD was produced under the name Lord Lemonsta, but over time he began to use Lord El, Outcast Gawd, and finally Cast Gawd. He worked with other underground hip hop/rap artists like J. Vengeance and Diva Deville, among others.
Even though his style of music isn’t my first go-to when I want to listen to music, I recognize talent, and Jake was talented. I feel like maybe he was on the edge of something when this happened. Music is like writing. It’s hard to break into it and it’s hard to make enough money to live on. When art lives in you and you just have to get it out, life becomes a dangerous balance beam as you try to pursue you passion and make ends meet at the same time.
Jake and I touched base off and on over the years, sometimes to talk about his music or family. Often, though, our discussions turned to spirituality. We had an interest in the esoteric and alternative spiritualities in common. He reached out to me after he moved back to Arizona this last time, but we never got the chance to get together in person. I’m sad about that, but I believe that we will continue our conversations anyway, across the ether.
Jake’s mother is in an assisted living facility because she has short-term memory problems and other issues as a result of an accident in the 90s. My sister Jane and I went in person to tell her about Jake’s death. It was one of the hardest things we’ve had to do. After that, we worked closely with his girlfriend and a good friend of theirs to plan a Celebration of Life.
We held the Celebration of Life for Jake privately for family and close friends only. However, as Cast Gawd, my nephew built a world-wide following. Because of this, his girlfriend streamed it live on her YouTube channel. We celebrated his life, his love, and his music.
My nephew Jake, LeMonte Anthony Knobelock, was killed in a very violent, public way on May 5, 2024. Until the investigation into his death is complete, we have no real answers as to what actually happened. I am witholding any opinions I may have about the circumstances until we know more. The only thing we know for sure is that he was killed by Arizona DPS officers in a shooting on Loop 101 in Tempe.
My nephew Jake had a good heart. Person after person who we had never met before stepped forward at the Celebration of Life and on social media to tell us about him, their friendships, their musical partnerships, and what a good man he was.
I want you to know this. It’s important.
He was a good man.
Because of how he died, there are already posts on the internet from total strangers who think they know what kind of person he was based on what they think happened.
Jake had a hard life and ran into challenges that nobody should have to hurdle. The way his life ended was a way that nobody should go, but far too many do. It was only early May, but Jake was killed in the 34th officer involved shooting in Arizona in 2024. I’ve seen a couple of the videos of the incident, and I have questions.
When the investigation is complete and his father, sister, and children are given the results of the investigation, hopefully our questions will be answered.
